


Watchful

by BookshopLaura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:44:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur watching Merlin. A drabble from 750 words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur is watching Merlin. It's a bad habit that he's trying to curb. He catches himself watching Merlin more than is normal. Well more than is normal for someone who isn't in love with their idiot servant. He's found himself staring into Merlin's eyes on more than one occasion. He's pretty sure everyone can see it. He remembers a particularly obvious moment when they'd been out with the knights and had to camp over night. Merlin had been sat with some of the knights round the camp fire, laughing and joking. Arthur loved the play of light on Merlin's cheeks and in his eyes. He'd been so absorbed in it, watching on from the entrance of his tent like some forlorn, love sick pup. Then Merlin had caught sight of him. The smile had dropped a little, his eyes fixed on Arthur, holding his gaze. He couldn't work out that look, even now. After a moment all the other knights had noticed his presence and he's retreated into his tent, his heart thumping.

But there have been other instances, far too many. Some give Arthur hope, some seem to dash it. He doesn't know what to do. So he continues staring as Merlin quietly polishes his armour. Staring at the full curve of his lips and his long eye lashes. There's a slight dimple in Merlin's cheek, highlighting his cheek bones which Arthur adores. Merlin's smiling.

"What are you smirking at?" he asks, trying to sound offish and aloof

"Nothing" says Merlin, glancing around for a moment, not making eye contact, then returning to his work.

He's very skinny, Arthur thinks. He does try to feed him up, always ordering too much food and insisting Merlin have some of it. That back fired slightly. Merlin has filled a little, his arms not quite as knobbly, his face not so drawn, a healthier glow on his wonderful cheeks. Arthur kicks himself at that thought. Besides which, not only is Merlin even more attractive, Arthur started putting on weight. Which is not attractive, although he hasn't put on much. But Merlin has noticed, because he's putting extra holes in belts and bringing him fruit and other 'healthier' options as opposed to what Arthur might have requested. But he can't complain. Not when Merlin is picking at grapes eating an apple. Something that Arthur shouldn't find attractive in another man, especially not Merlin. He frowns as he thinks. He doesn't like the control these feelings have on him, especially not when Merlin would probably be sickened by them

"Something's troubling you" says Merlin without looking up.

"What? No, no everything's fine." It's rubbish, unconvincing.

"You've been staring into space for half an hour. It's the trade negotiations next week, isn't it. We've been through it all, you're going to be fine. Mercia wants to trade with us, and we have a lot to offer. What could go wrong."

Arthur hadn't even thought about the trade negotiations. He'd been thinking so much about Merlin and his feelings he really wasn't prepared for them. But he didn't care.

"It's not that, Merlin." says Arthur. He should lie, it'd be easier he thinks. But he hasn't the heart to hear Merlin comfort him for something that doesn't trouble him.

"Is it Gwen? You did the right thing, she loves Lancelot. I know it must be hard to see them..."

"It's not Gwen." says Arthur, his face burning. Merlin's brow is furrow and his lip pouting slightly. It would be adorable if he wasn't treading a little too closely to the truth.

"What is it then?"

"Like I said, it's nothing."

"Clearly it isn't" said Merlin, half to himself.

"Merlin... I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't tell you."

Merlin frowns. Clearly the thought 'Arthur tells me everything' are going through his head and not connecting properly.

"You don't trust me?" he asks.

"That's not... it's not that, I'm sorry"

"It's fine" Clearly it's not. Merlin looks hurt as he turns to carry on polishing.

"Fine.. it's... there's someone" Too far his head is screaming, too far. He'll work it out, he'll connect the dots. There's a pause.

"Who?" it's quiet. And unsure. And Arthur is petrified.

"Is it important?" Now Merlin pauses and Arthur wants to change the subject, or dissolve into the ground. But Merlin's silence is telling.

"If I tell you will you promise not to ... be weird with me?" he says finally.

Merlin turns and smiles and nods.

"If I said it was you?"


	2. Chapter 2

For a moment Arthur's heart simply hammers in his chest as Merlin looks at him, his emotions unclear. 

"Me?" There's a slight frown playing across Merlin's forehead. Arthur wonders when the air became so thick that breathing feels like drinking it. And his cheeks are burning so much he thinks he can feel the blood pumping through his cheeks. 

"... yes..." all the bravado and recklessness seems to have melted out of him. This was such a bad idea, such a terrible idea. Merlin's face is like a mask, wide eyes the only indication of any emotion. 

"... Can I tell you something?" asks Merlin quietly after a moment which feels like an eternity. 

"Yes!Please Merlin, for God sake say something!" says Arthur, because this is like a form of torture. Merlin looks at him wide-eyed for another moment.

"Will you promise not to ha... not to..." Merlin's worried, maybe even scared. Now Arthur is frowning, and getting up from where he's sat on the bed, and going to sit beside Merlin at the fire. And yes, there is fear.

"Merlin, whatever it is, you can tell me." He says quietly. Merlin drops his head, and he's fiddling with the fabric he's been polishing the armour with. 

"Merlin?" Arthur's heart is beating wildly again, but now it's for Merlin. Because whatever it is it is important, serious. 

"I have magic... Arthur." says Merlin, still looking down, still fiddling with the fabric. 

Arthur wants to think it's a joke, but Merlin's quiet and serious. Two things which aren't normal for Merlin. Now it's Arthur who doesn't know what to say. He watches Merlin's downcast head, watches the frown draw together in worry. The way he bites his lip, the way he's blinking rapidly. 

"'m Sorry, Arthur." says Merlin. His voice is barely more than a whisper, and it's a little broken. Arthur can feel so many questions vying for prominence in his head. And he wants to be mad, furious. Part of him wants to hate Merlin, it would make things so much easier. But he can't.

"Why... why didn't I know?" asks Arthur. Why didn't he notice, especially considering how closely he thought he watched Merlin.

"I... at first I didn't want you to cut my head off... then I didn't want you to hate me." 

"So you thought that now was the best time? When I was pouring my heart out? Trusting you with my heart? Trying to tell you something important" He doesn't like how bitter it sounds.  
"Because now you know I love you, you have nothing to fear, you can get your pardon..." Merlin looks up at Arthur, hurt. He looks like he might even cry a little, but he just says

"I just didn't want there to be any secrets between us if we were..." and now he's reddening a little and glancing down again. Arthur stares at him confused. "Guess I was wrong, I should just go..." Then Merlin is getting up and he's going to leave.

"No!" finally Arthur breaks out of trance and jumps to his feet, grabbing Merlin by the elbow, turning Merlin to face him.

"You mean...? You? Us?" Arthur motions inarticulately between them. Merlin, still chewing his lip, nods.

"You like me to?" he finally gets out, but he's starting to smile a little already. And the smile creeps back onto Merlin's face, the dimples appearing. Then he shrugs a little, attempting and failing to look nonchalant.

"Might do" Arthur laughs and kisses him.


End file.
